The Word.

From childhood I have been wanting things, things that were given to me and the things I had to fight for. For some wants I had to use all the activities of feelings and manipulations. The brain has lived shared cultivated itself with so many wants and how to use words to solve problems and how to think itself out of wants or go for it at any cost.
I was told I had problems, why was I being told that. How was I to resolve that which was hammered in to me. Always felt as if caught in the middle - to let go or go after it.
Functioning in an organized religious structure which was supposed to be easy as told to me seemed a problem the minute it was questioned. The brain might have understood that somewhere along the line that word is the thing.
That it was easy this way to live and to accept the reality as imposed on me. As years went on the issues became complicated, falling in and out of affairs. I, Understanding, manipulating and creating new patterns to be in love.
The wants were coming in the same way as in childhood; they were dealt too in the same way.
The conflicts could not be brought to end. Why was I concerned about me and people around me.Thinking was giving more energy to words.
Realizations of wanting two things at the same time did not help. This was my situation.
I am on my own.