Wednesday, February 20, 2013

In Me.


I haven’t worn my prayer
For a long period now,
Responsibilities are felt deep
When I escape.

Traditions speak about values,
Their keepers
Guard them with armies
Of soldiers and Pontiffs,
I had a teacher too,
I had to feel, he said, the knowledge is
To discover limitations, mine,
He was seeking too,
What’s good and what’s it to value tradition?
That is the mind
In the pressure of peer.

Then it's possible,to feel free
In environment that is not mine,
In some other country, other
Than mine, till you start,
Mixing with your kind
There too.

Let me talk in general now,
Talk about food and how to cook,
Emotions run into them too,
I love what I cook or
Am not and want to improve
Upon it.

When a child, I
Could express, to an age freely, I
Belonged to a family with
Almost all adults engaged in
Ordinary chores, working hard,
Now I travel, I move,
I see people, and how to them
Their culture is very important to them,
They carry the responsibility,
I understand the role of the teacher thus,
The knowledge in books,
In words
And how they become a responsibility to me,
Through who I am,
And a teacher,
Although mine never replied
Anything, nothing,
So I also understood that
For me only,
I have an identity, mine,
And so for anyone and all.

For me hence I have to be told
I live or not live by others,
Who have to be told
To live, this really confuses us all.

I have certain skills,
I have abilities,
They change alone,
I have dreams,
Dreams are different now,
Since my wife has a
Child in her womb,
Dreams for once are
Alive, like the child
In the womb,
Not a myth, or some fantasy,
Neither do I believe in
Re-birth, but dreams,
That they are living, like me, alive,
To what I know of me,
And what people know of me,
But these dreams are unconditioned, unlike me,
Like my expressions, when I was
Three or four, real,
I wonder how my father felt,
My relationship with him
Has been a plateau,
Can’t say anything about him,
I guess I even don’t know him,
But I am afraid of
His dying, I take that fear seriously,
To have us around, his children,
I know was very important to him,
As was his owning a home,
And live a particular lifestyle,
I, we lived his style,
Like a surprise to him
One day it came, I decided,
To live life my way,
That is the only time in life,
I think we are,
he was genuinely surprised,
He was.

We understood, he and I,
The passage of time,
The solutions existed in
Channels of time,
So did problems,
And our learning,
And joys, and freedom,
And my teacher too,
Who never taught me anything,
Only that there was nothing
To change in actions, only to see
How the mind reacts to your awareness,
With the understanding of
Given and discovered knowledge, so
Even while cooking, bathing,
Tying shoe laces,
How I make things come to life,
How they make me come alive,
Learning of attachments and movements,
And I don't have to go anywhere,
To be open to possibilities.

A baby will be born,
Thinking will change,
Till up to end of my time,
Hence a student for life,
In Me.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Anger, Desire, Hunger.

I had to hear them all,
All they had to say and do,
Hoping that they would by themselves
Look at the problem,
Anger?,
They have been ceaselessly talking
About it for centuries now,
Only talking,
Never dealing,
Never realizing where it rises and feeds;
The Desires, and if let, how it burns,
Hunger too burns me,
I am a system, and these,
Anger, desire, hunger are very simple,
They are the forms of me,
And what burns about me,
There was never anything about them
To be talked, never,
But they did,
And I had to listen,
And ask, does life have
Any meaning?

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Unfinished Lines.




I try to understand you
I ask a why
I can't deny that
I wake up
To only see you

I live it, when
I see you walk away
It’s cool,
I play
It can only go up
To a point


Fingertips on my lips
I focus as am
Too close to the sun
Hear me out once
I'm a bad listener
I try
I ask a why



 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



A ray by a ray
Life reaches out
To me as I lay
Alone
Light through light
The roads reaches out
Inside of me it
Works up a me

I see her
I say a “Hi”
She says she
Loves the sound of that

The ray would
Someday search for a day
It would know then
What a search had meant
And I would trade it
With a day
For a night with
Her



-----------------------------------------------------------


Mixed up
Here there imaginary,
Nothing that anyone can do
I dream and in that dream
I live a love
To something for live for
A day or a year
Or a lifetime
In a song
I call you
Be mine
Be there
Till the end of us

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Indulgence


I scribble out an I
It's an
Inner burst of a last relationship and
As always being
Invisible to my anger
I take a deep breath,
Walking a night in the sound
i see a star in the sky from my window
And a face of last memory,
The memory clings,
That's what they do,
Clinging tightly to the dark night these radiant memories,
Always as usual I gather myself.
For sometime every night,
I become raw to the I,
Increasing the chaos of my survival pattern.

Saturday, December 29, 2012


















Sunday, September 23, 2012

A Love Poem.

A voice lies underneath,
She says “I cannot be with you.”

I ask “have you looked?”

She is soft, brown hair hides her dark eyes,

Her perfume lies trapped in those brown curls,

That play around her long neck,

She recalls “I wanted to know peace”

I reply “You have learned patience”

“I may have learned vigil perhaps” she walks closer to me,

My head looks up “It had silence”

Her long thin fingers now point to the window “The night wasn’t silent”, she whispers,

“Was it your heart talking? Your ears had no one,” the house is silent, my
Lips have no strength left,

She kisses me, sweet, “a night some months back, I spent building a nest”,

“It lasts forever,” I live one more breath to tell her;

“ Perfection must be a pause then, my love” her eyes smile,

“Love has to be born, it has also a sunset, not a pause,” I switch off the lights,

“What I feel is real”, she moves away,

“Desires are if life is”, I move towards the window,

“Freedom then should be just a play”, she closes her eyes, I see her in the moon light,

“Shadows don’t play, the light does and it knows nothing of freedom or otherwise”, I smell the air,

“It hurts”,

“It has a threshold”,

“Beauty then should be timeless”,

“ Yes, it fills me, this room and all those who are witnessing us now”,

She switches on the lights, “ It is golden in the morning, only then”,

“Look, the pole star”, I call her to the window,

As she moves, she smiles, “the past of lovers are like those stars”,

“When lovers are, the past ceases”, I hold her,

“You and I have played for time that seems endless”,

“Yes, endless”, I kiss her

Friday, August 31, 2012

I Spoke A Walk.

I spoke a walk one night
A corridor long, crumpled in a pattern divine,
In a hand of smile,
A small flower in a concrete heart, stood stiff and proud.

I spoke a walk,
Tripping as I came across her again in a afternoon light,
Sun flashing through her eyes,
Aching to hold her in the shades to fight,
To build a pattern, to live or to die.

I spoke a walk,
Breaking a pattern, a whim like gravity moving all,
I went up and down her entire face, her spine and all her gods,
A ray came in as a messenger,
Shame, shame called the purple audience, as if I had cared.

I spoke a walk,
I lifted a desire, no longer
Dark horses could harm,
It was harvest, all could see
And reap, she laughed after the moan, the linen still remained white,
And now I was right,
The linen never cared,
The pattern remained dismissed.

I spoke a walk,
Long nights and small days,
From the thought that went flying in fury,
It wanted no bridges now, as
She was now a cloud,
Far away shining bright.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Story-Telling.

It was a play
A distraction that I took
No notice of,
In a printing press my
Name was printed in letters
Small and big.
“What am I doing?” she asked
In all her eagerness, I replied,
“I go to play, as
I never like to work”.

Throwing her hands up, she
Sang “ Your name
Looks like a train name”,
“Does it”? I laughed, “I
Thought it looked like a theatre”
After a long silence, she asked,
“Aren’t you going to put me in your play?”
“I could never play, if you weren’t in it” I
Smiled,
The story now reached to a point,
It had to leap or be killed,
It was the intoxication of a man
Being man, the creature who could not live
Without story-telling, without the playing.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

It always took a kiss to know that it would be the only one that I would live for, the one that would change the materiality of my life, it would be the truth, it would be selfish, I would be free. The free is to not to feel anything other than the feel of being alive. 
Except life what exists is more than it is to feel alive. I felt, it was always there to be felt.
The Cold in me is the Life that throbs.

The Soul.


Wishes driven to wonder
Words drilled on paper
The  I remained  alone
The learning was
Written in rebirth
Of that which created a light
Where memories were  raised
In which a life become a life

The I could not be any
It had voice of none
The words  to it came in slow
They could make and build
To study and learn
For  days and for nights
One after another

Sustenance was the content
The content was the escalator to be built
To be integrated
The I identified it
Answered by a process
The process a devotion
To think and to choose what
And through it
The soul was then created.