Philosophies Evolve, Just as Monkeys Did.

What causes the cause of a disease? Genetics?

"You are a product of your conditioning." aren't we told this always. Then there are genes that humans inherit from which they are born from.

I understand this because of the position of geography that I have been born in. Would I be what I am if was born in an extreme environment such as Amazon or  a Mongolia or an Iceland etc etc.

Thus what I experience, what I write is because of where I was born. Thus whatever are the emotions that I grow in, is what shapes my mind. What then is the true nature of human beings on this planet, it's biological existence isolated by emotions; or to understand diseases like cancer through emotions that humans experience no matter what part of geography influences their conditioning.

I see a social need in me, this blog and what I write here is a proof of that. I see a conditioning in me, that drives me, and parts of me wanting to be free from it, struggling to teach me, to prove that I am not useless to me. to society and that value is in contribution.

Is there where a mind body dichotomy is born or is it born when you are under anesthesia and you know that you are under anesthesia and being operated upon. This is not mystical, nor subjective, it is objective and as for you to know this you have to be under a scissor of a surgeon.

The philosophies will evolve, just as the monkey evolved, and if you weren't a primate before and now; then you had to be God, both still required a cause or the cessation of cause.

RELATIONSHIPS.

The starting point of a relationship is a distinct moment, that moment freezes in time and space and memory and is mystically eternal. The most influential relationship is that, that a human body has one with an emotions that flows through it.
Whatever may the emotions, the entire range, clings on to our bodies physically and we become that emotion through our actions.

I too have been presented a goal to me, a relationship in my mind to a goal of 'waking up to a reality'. Reality and its definitions have been documented by human minds that were the results of the relationship that a particular mind had with the goal to 'wake up to the reality'.
Evidence based existence has a starting point, a distinct moment and many are understood now but a lot are mystical in nature Still.

Relationship is a stimulant, a high, and also fear inducers, they relieve stress and also are the reasons for one. We have relationships with people, nature, drugs, productivity, pain, power... the list is endless now and there billions of books studying these. Addictions to have/establish relationships that are strong, there are those who renounce and establish an illusionary self, sit all alone and be in relationship with that split self, call it meditation etc etc.

Relationships offer the most primary basic need of us - to be rewarded or to be punished, thus resulting in addictive behaviors wired in the brain. 

An Act Of Learning.

I see no responsibility towards a world, that seems to exist outside of me, in this world violence is reported to me on a daily basis, some acts of generosity or some one called a hero for what it achieved are observed too. All these dangers are of very little value to me, till my little possessions are attacked. Thus what exists is fear and not responsibility.

I see no responsibility towards me, what exists is fear, fear of a total loss, loss of harmony that I strive to make through making my living a productive life.

There are desires, some contradict each other, some make me focused and few others distract. I examine, watch, deduce, add, subtract and trade my pasts to a future. I understand or fail to understand the patches of memories available to analyze by myself or by a friend or by an expert.

Responsibility thus is a serious matter, where I have never put any thoughts or observed it critically.
For once I asked myself, if I really did feel responsible, and the answer came back to me as NO.
How do I thus truly become responsible for my own self, without fear, without an image, without questions?
I don't want to bring it about in me. I don't want it as a desire and I don't want it because of some delusions either. 

Anger, jealousy, brutality and I measuring myself against someone else, against strangers who I will never meet or interact, are all tricks that play around my mind, thus making my mind a violent place to be in, with condemning, justifying and all other activities that go with identification.

A friend, a very dear friend to me always told me, I had problems with naming, I knew what it was, I identified, but fell short of naming it. I never corrected him, I did not feel responsible too. I let it be as act of learning.

I thus would let this conflict in me remain as an act of learning. Learn about me, myself and wait (if) till responsibility dawns on me.


 

Past Future.

Time travels in me as I sleep, into a past, into a future, on a trail, bringing back to a future never seen otherwise. Connections in Cells in brain don't work when I am awake, most of the past if not those that propose a threat or challenge seems wiped out, so does imagination, with past goes the power to imagine. Things change when sleep takes over. In sleep this time travel cannot be controlled by me, sometimes I see me wanting to stop but seem helpless. Few days back when I wasn't able to open  my eyes, but then somehow I forced myself to open my eyes, there seemed to be two sets of eyes, eyes that saw the objects of the room and the other eye that was still watching that time travel, somehow now I could switch these eyes at will, I could watch from my time travel or choose to watch the objects of the room. There seemed to be two sets of ears too, one that could hear the fan swirling and the birds outside and one that could hear a voice, mine, in the time travel that was asking to switch the set of eyes from time travel to the objects of the room and then back.

Harmony in randomness comes through my senses, the randomness though eludes me.

She told me that we would meet again, that her shadows won't leave me, her tears would stay in me, her nights would be lonely with me and yes certainly we would meet as if we were strangers again.
My eyes remained empty, the throat remained dry, like some frame on the wall with dust on it, I looked at her walk away.
Her walk stirred memories frame by frame, each step she took away from me, time stood still in me, I saw her so clearly, as if I hadn't seen her at all for some years now.
I once heard a morning song, a song of heart, songs that happy people sing, I was romancing her, in love with life and she with me.
I had to leave that evening back home, but her beautiful hair that was pinned back, held me back, an act that told me things would never remain the same.
An evening that was spent without dinners as her face that quenched all my anguish, hunger in me was from my head to my foot and it tore me outside in. The heart set itself on a journey and I wanted to capture my vigil, I saw she demonstrated that she could provoke passion and trouble with her voice. Her eyes were ruthless and revolutionary and she was in love with herself and she wasn't at ease with her past. She was a mind reader and there I was realizing I was one too, In the sand there I wrote her a love letter, all my hopes in those sands that held a promise that they would hide it from time.

Today the letter read itself to me as if the sands had kept the promise, each word killing me in my head.
A life was traveling back and building a bridge to tell me that there was never ever that she came or she left, a face held itself and so did a voice, crossing a street and a flowing floral skirt flirting as her face was to my walk to her. She was amazed that I could hold her in my eyes and that her love could make her see me hearing her.

Sunyata.

Stiti sunya hai aisa ehsaas hota hai,
Par koi toh isse bhi pechaan raha hai,
Apne aap se alag huun yeh yakeen hota hai,
Phir aapne aap ko dundhe ne mein,
Uss shunya ki stiti se alag hota hoon.

Phir nayee soch leti hai janam
Phir wohi soch hoti hai khatam

Chahatein unn soch mein aati hain nazar,
Unnke puure na hone ka phir lagta hai dar,
Issi dar se ladta hoon,
Aeey zindagi tujhe paane ki, tujhse
Ek hone ki keemat deta hoon.

Iss suniya ki stiti se issliye alag rehta hoon.

The path remains unknown to paths,
Cause, I move from a past to pasts, always.
On knowing this,
I am certain now that,
The journey thus
Remains known to me.

Dream to dream
There is a time travel machine in my mind,
There is energy available there,
That energy slows the time, or makes
time take quantum jumps,
In my waking state, too,
The energy available is
which slows down my working time,
To do more or get done more,
This being then a process where
a dream is made,
Dream by dream,
I sleep working in energy channels, these are
movements within an electrical potential.

I stay awake in my dream, to
interact with the flow of time and the energy that radiates the dream.

All Alone.

The air carries the ashes too,
And then there are thoughts
That carry giving up, an ending, and
They carry changes,
Of the who of  who I am,
Then there is a why, round the corner,
A life waits there in that, in that intelligence,
And the air is certain of the changes it carries
And brings it on all alone.