Sugar Love.

Love that will not come
Love inside all curled up
Love of the two year olds
Love of a teacher
Love of a preacher 
Love that dares
Love of a knife that slits clean
Love believed when in puberty
Love of candles
Love of a boy who freaks out
Love of pitiless nights
Love in waiting of seconds
Love in random car ride
Love of almosts
Love of clipped wings
Love in a belly
Love of fading footsteps
Love outside living
Love to be reading about
Love in morning muscles
Love shaped in new words
Love of a bored wife
Love of half baked gods
Love in celibacy kicks
Love of sexists
Love that wants itself again
And again
Again
Again
Making me live
Opening me up
Making me come closer
Closer to closures.

Time.

Ask me what it is

I know and I don’t know why

Driven from a past into a future

From instinct to make love

To the drive of sex

They are me

Connected to life

From seconds that moved to hours

To memories and the contemplation

Past remains in the present, as I see

I ask myself of my events

Of the one-way motion

Carrying impressions, of being

To survive, to a purpose and its end,

From a birth, turning around

Not in a life that began in a sperm and an ovary

The sun and its heat, its light

When it was born, I was born, in time

The events aren’t a puzzle, moving in time

Always connected to a birth, in a past

A past that remains in present, in future

In a small needle hole

In a snake, that has never existed

No, that could never be the cause

The events have been personal, not the sounds, voiced - unvoiced

To all the blood that flowed in wanting to make puppets

In whatever faded away and disappeared, a nothing made to nothing

I cannot see it anymore

Neither can you evaluate

Jaws clenched, fists in a prayer, ready

Light comes out of my eyes and travels into space

That is how it moves

Ask me what it is

I know and I don’t know why

Why?

Why aren't I in love? Why don't I unearth my heart? Why don't I climb in of me? Why don't I drink? Why don't I smoke? Why don't I sing and dance? Why don't i lose my shadow? Why do I look at the sky? Why don't I look at the cloud; the wind that moves it? Why don't I punch? Why don't I spray? Why don't i wait and write? Why don't I wake up? Why don't I wake up? Why don't I wake up? Why don't I laugh loud? Why don't I travel inside? Why don't I love? Why don't I shoot? Why don't I be human? Why aren't I in love?
Smokes rises, outside in flooding thoughts, full of scars and wounds. Imaginations stringed too close, stars that look at us have died long back. I am still here, asking why aren't I in love?
I was,
I am,
I will always be.

Into this...

Into this, the beauty held itself,
The dance in her breast spread in all spaces,
Life came into this, corners curled, kneaded gently, hearts became the hands.
So much so for what was fear, she walked through it, into this.
Haven't we heard this before, the feet can dance, the wings can fly, songs written from dreams and pains, life came into this.
I think of you, of strength, of your pieces that made the hands pump and eyes look up.
Into this.the rains will come, into this the flames will fan the passion, into this...

What I want about me?

I don't know.
Why we need to know our self,  need people, relationships,  want to be careful, be safe? We experience fear, take care of family, never want to apologize. 
We want to trust. Deal with fakes, and find true love, nobility. 
Imagine the emotions raging through us, within us, the entire range, depending on the premise our mind functions on, surviving with or without guilt through our actions.
Could one defend greed? Yes. 
Could one base its philosophy on greed? Yes.
So on and so forth with all emotions, can be defended, philosophized and argued upon. 
Feeling safe, to be trusted, to trust, are our basic urges. 
How safe do you feel and with whom?
How trusted do you feel and with whom?
Who would you trust entirely?
Could I close my eyes, see what face hits my perception the very second my eyes close, whose name do I hear first? 
Then what do I do?
I don't know.