Snow storm - To a friend.

Moment onto itself. Melting, a vanishing dot. Like a snow flake.

Now, the time to connect the dots, a story, spanning many moments and notice the snow storm that never existed. 

I can never live your life for you. And sometimes, when no direction exists, I can only alter its momentum and see you reach a high in every point on the arc. A change in direction even for a straight line.

Ethically so if you please.

The storm never existed, but you weathered it, now my friend you are the storm.

Notes Of My Brain

There are spaces in brains that are spaced out by time. I come across an area and I have to match and trace and then move forward or backward. I have had problems with language and it is obvious in all my posts here and other places, but I have been able to break through to new grounds for me (not for anybody else as knowledge of what I talk and write may have been already there) which is obvious as I can see changes across time.

There is a specific interconnectivity even for me to be able to walk on two legs and the same skill is required when I look at an object and scan for knowledge of it in my brain. I may be slow or fast and can be classified with other beings and most of it by the genes passed on by parental gene.

I see myself moved by localised motivation which aids development of brain and when I see a child I see that happen in time and this is how it has happened to my brain too,gradual changes from womb to till date.
There are behaviors that I carried and those that have been bought about , learnt or altered and created.

I remember how I was taught matching and how I see adults doing that to children and how intelligence is being measured. The same happens when you come and read my blogs and you see you bring yourself in this task of matching and you see yourself using time and pointers and how perceptions are then built around that reading.

I can't remember names and numbers, but I can mentally click photographs of places I visit for the first time and I am able to recollect the entire route mentally and can repeat it whenever where ever, as if time can never have any effect of recalling this kind of memory and I feel astonished when I can't remember names and numbers.

If name processing doesn't work in my brain, but this brain is very sensitive to geography.
Would love to discuss this with the readers of this blog who can cite their own notes here. Thankyou for reading.

The High Note

anger brings in a stop
a stop that is the high note
of consciousness

movements are on automatic
choices in this automation
happen only when I
burn my rice

like a corridor that never
stops climbing
I spread my life where ever I stop
to mend my staircase in that
twisted corridor

a want, a desire brings in a stop
a stop that is the high note
of consciousness

active is thinking
that promises recognition
and imparts itself in flesh
to help us survive in this twilight
of sad voices

a street light here
a broken glass there
that is why I stop
to unify that lamp for me to walk
further
for you to walk so that you can see
the texture of your existence

a canvass in my mind
brings in a stop
a stop that is the high note
of consciousness

How I refused to move till
I could move where I could
move clean

I closed this end
I opened some other eyes
I made myself some coffee
That was more truth to me
than the promise of the pill
of my ancients

a sorrow that lifts brings in a stop
a stop that is the high note
of consciousness

I knew nothing of
questions flowing in my blood
but they were,
how could I know that
magic I guess or may be
mystical, yes, may be yes

may be someone talking
to me
and I haven't known that
as yet
thinking, yes and then
some laughs by me
and even that
wasn't heard
no, not even by me

  then a breath
my own
 swinging in my heart
talked of how long it had been there
and questions of where I was till now

so there are questions flowing in my blood
from my first and to my last

Alone With Two Of You.

The creation of your light
on my clay
Painted by wildness
and desires
Fire and my blood and
the life being invented
from many sides as I
learnt about roots
that I now love and know
nothing would ever be lost

I with two of you
on the floor
living inside
and outside and in tremendous hunger
a mirror reflecting nakedness
crackling in fire
living in a flow of days and nights
her hands on me and my head swinging
breathing against each other
building a universe all within
our freedom

Dropped a dream
in my bag
one for me
one for the times ahead on the road

This is all I packed
for me
I was anxious to get on a show
and those were all I packed

A tree house and a story
in that for all to see
a dream of you and me
and our routines

What moves me
is my trouble and when I look it for you
though I always struck the right cord
in yes this dream
that I saved for my high roads
ahead

Ode To Joy

Faces and sounds in my mind
walking singing
an uncommon face of mine in those faces
being watched by me with my open eyes
playing
singing jumping
I hear a distant
ode to joy
has he been born again
yes faces
uncommon flowers
of violins and love
making love a passion
as if no afterlife
would be complete without
this life

Sing my child
kiss and tell how soft
it felt
this joy of my lips
on your lips
juices of joy
dripping now
in my palms
shinning as you flow
with me my flower
singing this ode to joy

What would I be
I on my first day
I on my last

I as a priest last night
Torn between silver & golden lights

By the rest of my life
I swear
some laughter
few high notes
and
my moral training
sunk in soap water
I would search my woman
rely on chance
play the dice
and be the lover
uncaring

Come stab me in the
center of my plexus if you will so much
But let there be no despair in your eyes
and
Do it if only you can laugh & sing & love

If you can't
Then allow me to
Be a entertainer
and bring in laughter
And a song
And cinema
And a lover
Capturing your plexus
and stabbing it with joy
and freedom

The sky seems infinite
but yet my small step
on earth conquers that portion
of universe in whose awe
you swear

I have trees and flowers
and all road bends
so what
so what if you think your saturn has
many many moons
and I am in living with them now

The sun rays loves me too
travels  a thousand billion miles
to light up the smile in my
friend's life
like a lot of me
who do a lot
and courage sings me
how
I would always last

yes I would last
living and running with the wild fireflies
so what if I am slow
so what if it still feels infinite
but with work
I make finite
whatever I look

A self caught in steel
Taking this self I call me
To familiar temples
And priests trapped in whites and pose

I look for a good me
a thought that makes me sound and count
I still lack what all togethers call
confidence
I can claim what I want in
rush
They laugh me out and say
still
you still need practise
and you might change in time

The head that was up on entering
is all down and broke
on leaving
The Self Will Be Realized
a thought booms
and I on ground burn
which is a familiar sight
for I have company of selfs
another life
quickened to death

Complicated movements in mind
as if eyes knew not what it
recorded
so so many stories running each other
down
years on years the faculties
of my being took down notes
one by one
what I called my consciousness
which rolled everywhere

springs and new clothes
smelled so nice
they feel nice too now so
tell me my mother
why do i still ask about death or
what is there to learn of death

The teachers punished me
so did my habit not to learn
in memory of my teacher
who never gave up on me
I would write an ode
this I promise
a sacrifice

The dances lasted all night
and that night lasted a life time
Knives in heart
I was taught to salute that knife

Living on a prayer
I was told my soldier
would fight
come hail or storm

He had to protect our dances
as we danced to the preachers song of peace
and harmony

The earth now cut in to
brilliant pieces
with sharp knives they called
with pride their wrinkled flags
screaming and falling
to live
we all died
fudged

Many of I"s" know
what is more valuable to
that is numbness
If I was to see I
I would be nothing on that sunday afternoon

Care for me
I pray then on that frozen day
I loved all that was taught to me
and my god knows
I did all that I could
as clumsy and ugly it may seem

I also learnt to curb
this feeling of calling the I"s" we
I was a
A holy me
in an original womb
now returning to
numbness
having lived this that sunday afternoon

I have always loved this place
This place called MY mind
What comes in and what leaves
are always two different things

Matter separates from vibration
here in, you can call it
a magic chamber
the process happens
and then theories
pop out,
new intelligence
born half out
half in

I am all that pop outs
I am all that comes in
Nothing to escape
this place that I have loved
sometimes in my chest
and at other in my knees

All my years
and all my tears
in hours of grief
and in summers
my mind whispers
MINE
and everything else belongs
to gods

A path
yes a way
I asked me to meet
a desire
a dream
where it would be
reality
not for me to stop
but continued
along that way
which seemed as a path
whenever looked back

But me my lover
my merciless me
could bring a corpse to life
so were the desires
that would need rains
not just clouds that
sailed away

Such was the conflict
of the flower
it had desires
and sighs
it knew it had to
bring them to their
realization

Was it a path
or a game being played in my
madness
by me and my lover
me my merciless me

The high priest knew of flames
the flowers that could float
in abondon
A fire which no clouds could drown

She knew not of her charms
and only could cook well
her school had taught her
how hard work of her love
could release burden of
the sky from it's earth

The temple
the purest of floors
Had a story hidden in it's chambers
Wrapped in sheets were the tales
from that story
of passion and peace

My breath came alive as
the night wore itself out

She knew I
wouldn't ever sleep
and she seduced as hell

She was in a trance
and I was laughing as
she danced
'Let me tell you a story'
she whispered in her dark
alleys
I was now quiet
may be slipped just that moment
to let her know
'Words have no magic,
neither does a story until unless I narrate
one to you
and hypnotize you,
now that would be magical'
the alleys now shinning in my brightness
as she covered herself up

oh yes my breaths came alive

Those dreams that kissed my eyes
Those that I left under my pillows
Some knew how the sun died
And a few of how stars shined

Memories played some light
In some sleeps about  joys
of her voices and her songs
One last night sang
about a faith in her heart that
knew how my ironic
frame crumbled

I carried a clarity in me
It had a discomfort in it
As I also saw a self
A self conditioned by
that clarity

Seeing that clarity bought in
power
A power that reduced
the illusion of that reality which
now I held as a recognition

So what was now watching this?

Blink

My eyes as they saw you,
your world,
you seemed me and your
world mine
then there was a pause
may be a blink
and I separated from you in that
second
may be from me too
I died
only to come back to life
to see me
that what was you
in some other frame

Mankind.

Man cannot let things happen naturally, for man is short for manipulator. We descended from apes, its a motion that cant be stopped.

What nature demands, I cut through with my intent. I am a sheath covering the motion of this intent, call it an arrow slowing down through air.

I have no questions no aspirations, for manipulators, the stronger thought prevails. And reminds me, I am a Man and everything I refuse to manipulate will lead me to its natural conclusion, a journey quickened to a halt.

Nature is me, but natural cannot exist, so I settle for the next best, and that is the only that exists - Love for my intent, the source of all my action.

Sometimes, when I cant bring the motion to a grinding halt, the only other thing to be done is to enjoy manipulating its direction and be a Man.

Move.

In love you reflect, Your twin, torn on the innocent wall, Still water and silver, a floating wraith that helps you see as you are seen. An echo and you know, its the little luxuries and some solitude, you ask, but life is a party, and the one you look at is naked, behind his telling mask.

I now see you move, stately, slither past a watchful eye that "moves".

Illumination

Just to see you
I closed my eyelids
As you opened up your smile
You've been my fantasy
As deep inside

Came on in
my playground
a paradise
it felt good inside
you turned
and came up
as deep as you could play

It was my breath coming in from you
In and the every fresh breath
that left me in to you, the breath
 felt in the pit of my soul
as deep as in a painful universe
relaxing gently

I held back
only to let you go
your toes dug in deep
energies increasing all over
relaxing slowly gently
continuing deeper and deeper
in to your waves of relaxation